Couple relations as a path of spiritual development

Couple relations as a path of spiritual development

Relationships in a couple or self-improvement? This choice stood in front of me when I decided to engage seriously in spiritual self-development. For me, spirituality meant a path of active steps to transform myself and the world, the desire to point (read – control) my life in the direction I need.

My lover imagined the process of inner work on oneself completely differently. Spirituality in his understanding is the trust to life and acceptance of moral decisions in everyday life without tinsel. I wanted a quick and radical change, and he wanted gradual and effective changes for the better; thus he looked like a materialist in my eyes. The conflict of concepts was obvious, because of what the paired relationship and spiritual process seemed to me to be mutually exclusive interests, and the need to choose one of them seemed inevitable.

Thanks to Iissiidiology, I have been able to see vast opportunities for self-development in our relationship with him. And now I am eternally grateful to the beloved for the fact that, in the crucial periods of our common life path, he remained true to his principles and helped me become a better person.

I remember how I was looking for answers to the questions: “What is the evolutionary sense in relations between the sexes except for procreation?” and “Is it possible to make paired relationships part of the spiritual path?” And here’s what I found.

From the perspective of Iissiidiology, man and woman are representatives of different development directions. And no wonder! Male and female psychology is different in many respects. Women often behave emotionally, sometimes ignoring the voice of reason and constructive approach. Men, on the contrary, are too practical and rational while deterring their feelings. If in addition to the above-described, we add countless shades of vitality (sensibility) and mentality peculiar to both sexes, we obtain the set of vectors of evolution.

Consciousness of highly developed People is androgynous, meaning, able to equally understand both male and female logic, motivations of their actions. Which implies the obvious conclusion: the spiritual work in tandem is to come to an understanding between the sexes, to learn to agree among themselves on all levels of interaction in all spheres of life. And we are talking not about two loving people who simply adjust and accommodate to each other, tricking or hiding something. It’s about an ability, in different life situations, to find solutions that would help both of them grow morally and become more like People with a capital P.

In paired relationship, it often happens that a critical mass of controversial views has been accumulated between the partners after a few years of marriage. What is the reason for the discrepancy of opinions? The author of Iissiidiology, Oris, argues that the consciousness of each human being includes beliefs and interests inherent in various non-Human lines of evolution. They are called protoformal directions (from the word “proto-form” – a form of life as an animal, plant, mineral, etc.). The evolutionary task of every person is to convert consistently own protoformal, instinctive, unconscious conceptions to truly Human ones in accordance with the specific development program (synthesis scheme inherent in the DNA). With this approach, the contradictions between people will be perceived as a way to expand and thereby to improve own view of the world, but not as a reason for discord.

What is the difference between protoformal and Human conceptions? The Signs of Humanness are love and unselfishness, which are in harmony with rationality and intelligence. Such signs can also include

  • absolute positivism,
  • willingness to sacrifice all manifestations of the ego,
  • the ability to forgive, to understand others and to love them without any conditions.

And any kind of negativity, selfishness, passions and vices is protoformal realizations. We are forced to live them through due to the lack of a positive experience until there is awareness of the real benefits from making more qualitative, Humane decisions. Different protoformal, badly compatible or mutually exclusive interests of two people repeatedly come into conflict with each other, but the compromise is never there. These may be cases of failure to meet expectations of partners, stubbornness, the instinct of the owner, jealousy and closeness in sex on the background of sexual or creative interest to other people. As a rule, such behavior is dictated by the narrow-mindedness of these people and the inability to take the place of another. From this, each believes their position is the only correct and defends it, ignoring the opinions and needs of the one.

But these are the conflicts which have tremendous opportunities for spiritual breakthrough in the development. Yes, our partner or any other person has an experience built from other protoformal views. If we are ready to understand it and to find a solution that will satisfy both; if we track own selfishness and sacrifice it, thereby we expand our perception system and evolve in the Human direction.

It turns out that paired relationships are a great school for spiritual self-development, which main objective is to teach us to understand others as ourselves in everyday life. And one day we will feel the natural need to move from mutual sexual and material interests to a sincere and heartfelt relationship and spirit of co-creation.

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